COVID-19 Stress Relief Tips

1) Rest assured, you are not alone. It is natural to feel stress and anxiety at this time.

2) Set aside time to breathe. It allows you time to take a break from your concerns.

3) Know it is okay to ask for help.  The reality is most people not only want to help; but it brings them joy.

4) Focus on the good and provide acts of kindness. Contact someone who is alone and let them know you are thinking of them.

5) Take one day at a time. Be grateful for the connections you have.

6) Know timing is everything. Stay informed but avoid too much negative news.

7) Focus on what you can do and accept the things you cannot control. Take care of yourself.

8) Find ways to stay safely connected. Sharing helps to stay connected.

9) Set daily routines that include being creative. Try to get fresh air, even if it is standing in your driveway for five minutes.

10) Write it down. It helps to get your fears and concerns out of your head and into the open.

11) Remember daily prayer lightens your path.

Brought to you by our Health & Wellness Committee: Carole Stoychoff, Marianne Olson and Judy Benkowski. Typed by Carol Jensen.

 

Meet our Health & Wellness Committee who Share Ideas on Coping and Finding Joy During COVID-19

 

Hello, I am CATHY S. I am a newly retired RN.  I have been at SEAS for 25 years. I look forward to making a difference with sharing my talents and knowledge. I look forward to meeting and getting to know more of our SEAS’ families. I have also been involved with our choir for 7 years and am really excited to get back together again. I want the church to be filled with the sound of music.

Regarding finding joy during this pandemic, I want to share Kimberly Wagner’s words of wisdom regarding setting a trajectory of joy before the day begins. She states “You might find it tempting to sleep in right now, but be intentional with the early moments to prepare your heart for the day before chaos takes over.  It’s vitally important to meet with God by getting into the Word and letting Him know how very much you need His help for all that will come your way. My responsibilities and the future unknowns never look as threatening and ominous once I go to the Father of comforts and sit in His presence a good while– before all the daily distractions hit. Personally, I cannot stress this enough– getting to God in the first moments of the day can really set the course for the rest of your day.”

 

Hello, I am MARY JO R.. I have been a member of SEAS  for 27 years. I enjoy my role as a volunteer at SEAS, especially as a coordinator of the annual Christmas Sponsorship Program. I am a RN and have worked in various positions in medical/surgical nursing. However, I enjoy cardiac nursing the most. I look forward to working with this great team as we build the Health and Wellness Program at SEAS. I look forward to meeting other parishioners as they explore information and opportunities in their wellness journey.

I would like to share with you “4 Ways to Cope With Covid 19”. This is my biggest takeaway from an article I read in Psychology Today by Jamie Aten, PhD

1. Maintain a regular sleep schedule and practice other healthy sleeping habits (e.g. using naps with care, limiting light exposure from LED screens before sleep)
2. Maintain a healthy balance of nutritious foods such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains and healthy protein.
3. Exercise regularly.  Try to get 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity. Stay somewhat physically active during your day.
4. Do not self-isolate. Are others perceiving you as emotionally withdrawn?  Reach out to others. Call a friend. Face Time or Zoom someone. Go for a walk with someone.

 

Hello my name is JUDY B. I am the mother of 6 wonderful children and the grandmother of 12 awesome grandchildren   I am a retired teacher. I love to be outside walking and enjoying the beauty and wonder of God’s beautiful world.

 

Hello my name is LYN W. I have always been interested in health and wellness and how they are connected. I worked at St Vincent Hospital in the lab for over 40 years. Until Covid 19, I volunteered at Unity Hospice and at St Mary’s Hospital as a Eucharistic Minister. I have worked in healthcare most of my life. My outlook on life has been impacted by care needed for parents and in-laws due to their aging and dementia. I have experienced how wellness and health interact to lead to a better lifestyle.

My thoughts on finding joy during Covid -19 are based on an article by Angela Gorrell. She states “Gratitude brings to mind good that is in the world which makes rejoicing possible”. Personally, I am practicing gratitude during these difficult times. I am grateful for the following: 1.  Noticing changing of the seasons in the neighborhood on my daily walks. 2. Technology that allowed us to connect with children and grandchildren. 3.  Ability to connect with friends through FaceTime on Thanksgiving while we were in quarantine.

 

Hello my name is CAROLE S. I am an RN. I spent 42 years of nursing at St Vincent Hospital. Twenty-two of those 42 years was spent in neuro-ICU and 20 years in home health care nursing. I feel I worked from one spectrum to the other. I was happily married for 48 years until the passing of my husband  in 2018. I have 2 sons, 1 daughter and 7 grandchildren who are the love of my life. Being a member of SEAS and beginning this journey of bringing wellness to parishioners has brought much fulfillment to my life.

 

Hello my name is MARIANNE O.  I am a retired nurse and mother of three. I received my nurses training from the College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, MN. I have had experience in various fields of nursing. I worked in medical-surgical nursing, surgical outpatient, outpatient allergy clinic, and in emergency room nursing (my favorite). I retired after 15 years of nursing with The Red Cross.  The health field has been very important in our family as my daughter and granddaughter are both RN’s. I also have another granddaughter who is a physician assistant. I found all of my nursing experiences very rewarding. I am happy I chose nursing as my lifelong career.

 

Hello I am TINA F. My husband, Matt, and I moved here 2 years ago from Eau Claire WI -where we raised our two kids. We have been members at SEAS the last two years. I worked on the Parish Life Committee at SEAS; however, my passion is health and wellness. I have been bugging Sister Marla since I moved here to start a Health and Wellness Committee. I am a psychiatric clinical nurse specialist and have been working in this field for 35 years. I have a private practice in Green Bay and work part-time. I am thrilled to be a part of this amazing group of individuals. With God, we look forward to reaching out and bringing health and wellness to all of you.

For many of us, this pandemic has caused some real suffering including death, illness, financial hardship, depression, loneliness, fear, anger, etc.

I have taught classes in the past on how to find joy in the midst of suffering.  St Thomas Aquinas states, “Joy can be described as spiritual contentment, resulting from the possession of a desired good. “Authentic Joy” consists in the possession of God, Who alone can satisfy our hearts, which thirst for infinite truth and infinite love. Joy is present when there remains nothing to be desired”.

One of the truths that has helped me to view “suffering” differently is the truth that suffering can bring you closer to God. There is no doubt Jesus carried the cross and suffered miserably. However on the other side of this suffering was the resurrection. I really have come to believe that if God brings you “to it”, He can bring you “through it.”

“You cannot conceive”, said Jesus to Sr. Josefa Menendez “how great is the reparatory value of suffering”. Suffering you see nourishes and perfects love. And it is love alone that has any value in God’s eyes. St Therese said “when suffering is accepted with love, it is no longer suffering, but it is changed to joy.”

Changing my perspective on “suffering” has helped me immensely to get through difficult dark times. Maintaining hope is also key. Never give up hope!  I have lived long enough to know there is always hope. Hope is also another prerequisite to finding joy.

Our virtual Mardi Gras event was February 6, 2021, with a delicious meal, silent auction, and jazz music. We are grateful to all who helped make it a success. There were many behind-the-scenes volunteers that we couldn’t have done it without. We enjoyed the music of local band Brass Differential who recorded three songs exclusively for this event. Catholic Financial Life sponsored the songs My Feet Can’t Feel Me Now and Do Whatcha Wanna. Gerbers Law sponsored the song Hurricane Season. We especially thank the cooks who made all the food. You’ve asked for the recipes. Here they are.

 

Jambalaya

▪ 1 pound chicken breast, cut into 1-inch pieces

▪ 12 oz. (4 links) Johnsonville New Orleans Andouille sausage

▪ 1 medium-sized onion, cut in large chunks

▪ 1 green bell pepper, seeded & cut in chunks

▪ 3 ribs celery cut in chunks

▪ 1 tsp. Cajun seasoning (used Zatarains)

▪ 1 – 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with green chilies, drained

▪ 1 cup long-grain white rice

▪ 1 can (15.5 oz.) chicken broth

▪ 1# peeled & deveined uncooked shrimp

Cut vegetables in similar-sized pieces for even cooking. Stir all ingredients, except the shrimp, together in a large bowl. Pour into baking dish and cover. Bake at 350° for 1 -1 ½ hours. Add shrimp in last 30 minutes of baking. Check and stir several times throughout.

 

Cornbread Casserole

▪ 1 can cream style corn

▪ 1 can whole kernel corn, drained

▪ 1 stick melted butter

▪ 1 cup sour cream

▪ 1 pkg. Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix

▪ 2 eggs, slightly beaten

Mix all ingredients well. Pour into greased casserole dish. Bake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours at 350°.

 

Authentic New Orleans Style Gumbo

 Ingredients for the Roux

▢1 heaping cup all-purpose flour (1 ¼ – 1 ½ )

▢2/3 cup oil (vegetable or canola oil)

Ingredients for the Gumbo

▢1 bunch celery, diced, leaves and all

▢1 green bell pepper, diced

▢1 large yellow onion, diced

▢1 bunch green onion, finely chopped

▢1 bunch fresh parsley leaves, finely chopped

▢2-3 cloves garlic

▢1-2 Tablespoons cajun seasoning * (I used 1 TBSP Zatarains)

▢8 cups Chicken broth *

▢12 ounce package andouille sausages , sliced into coins

▢Meat from 1 Rotisserie Chicken*

▢2 cups Shrimp, pre cooked

▢Cooked white rice for serving

Instructions

Make the Roux*. In a large, heavy bottom stock pot, combine flour and oil. Cook on medium-low heat, stirring constantly for 30-45 minutes. This part takes patience. When it’s finished, it should be as dark as chocolate and have a soft, “cookie dough” like consistency. Be careful not to let it burn! Feel free to add a little more flour or oil as needed to reach this consistency.

Brown the sausage. In a separate skillet on medium-high heat place the sausage slices in one layer in the pan. Brown them well on one side (2-3 minutes) and then use a fork to flip each over onto the other side to brown. Remove to a plate.

Cook the vegetables in broth. Add 1/2 cup of the chicken broth to the hot skillet that had the sausage to deglaze the pan. Pour the broth and drippings into your large soup pot. Add remaining 7 1/2 cups of chicken broth. Add veggies, parsley, and roux to the pot and stir well. Bring to a boil over medium heat and boil for 5-7 minutes, or until the vegetables are slightly tender. (Skim off any foam that may rise to the top of the pot.) Stir in cajun seasoning to taste.

Add meat. Add chicken, sausage, and shrimp.

Taste and serve. At this point taste it and add more seasonings to your liking–salt, pepper, chicken bullion paste, garlic, more Joe’s stuff or more chicken broth–until you reach the perfect flavor. Serve warm over rice. (Tastes even better the next day!)

Notes roux. The roux can be made 3-5 days in advance, stored in a large reseal-able bag in the fridge.

Notes chicken and broth. The best way to make this gumbo is by buying a rotisserie chicken–removing all the chicken, and using the carcass to make homemade chicken broth. Then make the gumbo using the chicken and homemade broth. You can use store-bought chicken broth, but homemade is way better! (I used store-bought for the Mardi Gras.)

Storing Instructions. Store Gumbo covered in the refrigerator for 3-4 days.

Freezing Instructions. This recipe makes quite a lot, so save leftovers for another day!  To freeze gumbo, allow it to cool completely and store it in a freezer safe container (separate from the rice) for 2-3 months.  Thaw overnight in the refrigerator and reheat on the stove or in the microwave.

Nutrition. Calories: 464kca. Carbohydrates: 5g. Protein: 12. Fat: 29g. Saturated Fat: 3g. Cholesterol: 116mg. Sodium: 1303mg. Potassium: 371mg. Fiber: 1g. Sugar: 1g. Vitamin A: 230IU. Vitamin C: 38.4mg. Calcium: 94mg. Iron 1.7mg.

 

Our jazz songs’ sponsors. Thank you for your support!

I biked more than 650 miles this summer over a 6-day period!  If you’re even a little curious why, I would love for you to keep reading!

This summer, I participated in an important mission called Biking for Babies. The mission of Biking for Babies is to renew the Culture of Life, one pedal stroke and one pregnancy resource center (PRC) at a time, by increasing PRC awareness, raising financial and spiritual support, and forming young adults, like myself, into pro-birth missionaries.

In a typical year, there would be four routes across America (north/south/east/west) that bike approximately 2700 miles over a six day period (over 600 miles per route!), covering the nation in prayer, and forming a cross with a central meeting point and a Celebration of Life in St. Louis.  I was scheduled to be part of the northern route, biking from Green Bay to St. Louis (doesn’t that seem REALLY far?  I thought so too).   Due to COVID restrictions, we did not ride to St. Louis but instead biked over 650 miles throughout Wisconsin, with our home base being our very own Camp Tekakwitha.  While this could have been a discouraging change, it was truly amazing! In a typical year, we would only see riders from the other routes at the Celebration of Life– but this year, we were all in one place.  This allowed us to form new relationships that otherwise may not have happened, and it also allowed us to spend time in retreat each evening.

This National Ride serves to bring awareness to pregnancy resource centers across the country that help women who find themselves in crisis pregnancies.  A part of our formation includes fundraising for life-affirming pregnancy resource centers to decrease the cost of services to families in crisis pregnancy situations. If you’ve been to a pregnancy resource center before (St. Gianna Clinic in Green Bay is our local PRC), you may have an idea of what material, spiritual, and emotional support is available to the women and families, but if not, here is a list of some of the primary services they offer.

100% FREE

• Pregnancy testing
• Prenatal care, such as vitamins, doctor referrals
• STD testing
• Infant care materials, like formula, cribs, clothes, diapers, etc.
• Educational classes for nutrition and health, childbirth, parenting skills, relationship skills, etc. This goes on well after birth (up to 4 years old at some PRCs).
• Post-abortive counseling
• Ultrasounds

Joining this mission had been on my heart for over two years.  I have experienced loss in pregnancy, as my son MJ (Matthew James) was originally a twin, and the grief associated with the loss of a child is real and powerfully heartbreaking – and mine was not a crisis pregnancy!  The choices that these mothers and families are facing are immeasurably difficult, and I want them to know there is a safe place for them that will provide the support that they need. In my mind, it is one thing to stand for pro-birth, but another to truly give tangible and unconditional support to those who need it.   The training and actual ride, while mentally, spiritually and physically challenging, was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever done.  Each day, I would be so physically exhausted that I thought there was “no way,” I was going to be able to do it again tomorrow.  And each day after that,  I got on my bike and offered up those miles for women and families that are experiencing the fear of the unknown in their own lives, asking God to be in their hearts and guide their “Yes” to life.  I also relinquished control and really let God in.  Without this, I don’t know that I would have made it through the week.   There were many small things like this that happened throughout the week.

If you are called to be a part of this important mission, I would encourage you to visit the site below.   www.bikingforbabies.com/give

Some GO by giving.  Some GIVE by going.   Thank you for supporting God’s work.   Thank you for being part of my faith Community.  We are looking for next year’s missionaries – this includes both cyclists and support crew!  Please reach out to me if you are interested!

Angela Prill, parishioner at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish

Angela.prill517@gmail.com  or 920-540-5658

You’re not racist.

I always thought that was enough.  Oh, I knew that I had my biases and prejudices, like everyone.  But because I was conscious of them and did not treat others unfairly because of them, I wasn’t racist.

I was certain that racism was not endorsed by the Bible.  Sure enough, in James 2:8-9, we read, “However, if you fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing well.  But if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.”

I was also pretty sure that church leaders must have condemned racism.  In 2020’s “Open Wide Our Hearts,” the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops proclaimed, “Racism is evil because it attacks the inherent dignity of the human person, created in the image and likeness of God.”

So, I thought I knew what racism was, that it was inconsistent with my faith, and that I wasn’t part of the problem.

But that’s no longer enough.  I have to take the next step; I have to be an anti-racist.  All Catholics have to be anti-racists.  Each of us must be part of the solution.

If we are to end the scourge of racism in our land, we must now stand up to all words, actions, traditions, and policies that prevent people from realizing their full potential, enjoying life to its fullest, and fulfilling the “more perfect union” the Constitution calls for.

It is time to take a side, and as Catholics that must be the side of anti-racism.

Elie Wiesel knew something about racism.  Millions of his Jewish people were murdered by the Nazis because of their ethnic backgrounds.  Wiesel himself was a survivor of the Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps.

“We must take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.  Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.  Sometimes we must interfere.  When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant.  Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe” Elie Wiesel, 1986 Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

We can become the center of the universe when it comes to combatting racism.  The alternative is to do nothing, to say nothing, and allow the center of the universe to remain as it was.  As a black hole.

For more information, videos, and a Prayer to Overcome Racism, go online to www.usccb.org, the Issues and Actions tab, Racism drop-down box.

Written by: Parishioner Andrew Crane, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church, Dignity of Life Committee Member

Jesus Christ, you traveled through towns and villages “curing every disease and illness”.  At your command, the sick were made well.  Come to our aid now amid the global spread of the coronavirus, that we may experience your healing love.

Heal those who are sick with the virus. May they regain their strength and health through quality medical care.

Heal us from our fear, which prevents nations from working together and neighbors from helping one another.

Heal us from greed, which can make us concerned only for ourselves, and hoard beyond what we need.

Heal us from our pride, which can make us claim invulnerability to a disease that knows no borders.

Jesus Christ, healer of all, stay by our side in this time of uncertainty and sorrow.

Be with those who have died from the virus.  May they be at rest with you in your eternal peace.

Be with the families of those who are sick or have died.  As they worry and grieve, defend them from illness and despair.  May they know your peace.

Be with the doctors, physician assistants, nurses, researchers and all medical professionals who seek to heal and help those affected and who put themselves at risk in the process.  May they know your protection and peace.

Be with the leaders of all nations.  Give them the foresight to act with charity and true concern for the well-being of the people they are meant to serve.  Give them the wisdom to invest in long-term solutions that will help prepare for or prevent future outbreaks.  May they know your peace, as they work together to achieve it on earth.

Whether we are home or abroad, surrounded by many people suffering from this illness or only a few, Jesus Christ, stay with us as we endure and mourn, persist and prepare.  In place of our anxiety, give us your peace.

Jesus Christ heal us. Amen.

 

Submitted by: Sr. Marla Clercx, ANG, Pastoral Leader

I am currently in diaconate formation. I continue to pray that I will be ordained as a deacon next year. Your prayers of support and strength would be most appreciated, as well.

While prayer is a huge part of formation, there is also a fair amount of classroom work involved, too. The courses have been very interesting, and I am learning so much about this beautiful Church and our mission to know, show and grow Jesus’s message of love every day of our lives.

A couple of months ago I was talking to a friend and she asked what classes I was going to take this summer. When I told her that canon law was next, she got a look on her face like I had just told her that I don’t like cheese curds. It was a cross between sadness and pity with a bit of disgust sprinkled in. Apparently, I was crossing over to the “dark side.” To be honest, I didn’t walk in to class the first night with a completely open mind. After all, it did seem to me that the only things I knew about canon law were the various ways of saying “no” that I have heard over the years.

Perhaps it would be prudent to explain what canon law is. On a very simple level, canon law is a system of laws, principles and regulations assembled and released in 1917. Before that, canon law existed in a variety of different places, including papal decretals and decrees, church documents, and many other sources dating back to the Roman Empire. The canons (laws) are intended to organize the operation of the church and to guide the members of the church toward a more loving and righteous life, while protecting the faith and theology of the Catholic Church.

As the class progressed, a few things began to become clearer to me. Firstly, I am now not so convinced that canons of the church are in place to make life harder and less enjoyable. The more I study, the more I am finding that one of the major guiding principles of canon law is to say “yes” as often as possible. Generally, canon lawyers and judges are constantly looking for details in situations which support the people involved. While “no” is sometimes the just answer, if there is a path to a “yes,” by default, it is the path most pursued.

Another very important point that became apparent to me is the difference between “should” and “must” in the way that we conduct our lives, sacraments, etc. In canon law terms, this roughly translates to “licit” and “valid”. Throughout canon law, there are relatively few instances of “must do’s” with severe consequences for failure to do so. In the vast majority of cases, the canons provide us with guidance toward the best way to live. Again, the purpose of the structure is to help us all live with salvation and eternal communion with God as our aim. Through scripture, tradition and divine inspiration the Church believes that we have been graced with the knowledge and wisdom to understand God’s message and to apply Jesus’s life and teachings to our lives, even today.

Perhaps, an analogy may apply here. Let’s consider taking a drive in our car. As we get into our car and start down the road, we are faced with many choices. We can abide by the speed limits or we can ignore them. We can try to get through the flooded intersection, or we can find another route. We can get behind the wheel after the party or we can hand off the keys. We can even try to beat that train through the crossing. Like the rules of the road, the canons are ours to observe and to act upon. We have the freedom of choice, but we do not have the freedom from consequences. We may be fine, we may get a small ticket or we may end up in a tragic accident. The law exists to guide us to happier, healthier lives in the hope that we will arrive home safely.

Bill Gerl, SEAS Parishioner in Diaconal Formation

I had settled into my seat by the window, grateful the aisle and center seats were open. It wasn’t a full flight, so I had room to spread out and relax.

I closed my eyes, hoping to catch a little sleep. My bliss, however, was short lived.

The pilot’s voice came over the comm, “So, uhm, here’s the situation, folks – we had a little error message pop up in the cockpit here.”

A little error message?! We’re supposed to fly 560 mph at 30,000 feet – how can any error message be little?!

He continued, “We’re not really sure what it means, so, uhmmmm… we’re going to go ahead and give it a hard shutdown and then reboot just like you would with your own laptop.”

“That’s it?” I thought. “You’re going to just reboot the airplane like it’s a video game?!”

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to simply reboot life like that once in a while? Whenever we see an error message pop up in our lives, we could engage a hard shutdown and reboot. I think I’d like that. I’m certain Michelle would like to reboot me sometimes.

Together, Christmas and New Year’s provide us with an opportunity for a spiritual and chronological reboot. Of course, even as we make resolutions and commitments to ourselves, it’s difficult to think of these as a hard restart because we haven’t actually gone through the hard shutdown part. We carry all the same anxieties, stresses, prejudices, and other baggage forward. Rather than reboot and live as the best version – the Christlike version – of ourselves, we settle for a slightly modified version. Most of our resolutions are actually just attempts to cope with or cover up all the old junk rather than truly engage renewal.

In reference to my own life, I am guilty of slapping new paint over rotted boards, and then standing back and nodding with self-approval, “There, much better.” It gets me through the day but does very little to get me to a better place. Sure, I might have dropped a few pounds, but am I living and loving as the healthiest, happiest version of me?

Nearly all of us enjoy playing the lottery fantasy game: what would you do if you won the lottery? Another popular version of the same game is mortality awareness: what would you do if you had only one month to live? If you listen to the answers most of us give, you’ll notice a subtle difference. In response to winning the lottery, we fantasize about changing things outside of ourselves such as our jobs or our homes. Many of us imagine using the windfall to put something good in the world and to fund charity work. Mostly though, we think about changing something that’s not us. In response to the mortality question, however, we are decisively more self-reflective. We talk about worrying less and loving more. We actually think in terms of a total reboot for the final stretch and living our last month the way we wished we would have lived our entire lives.

What would happen if we used this season for a reboot, if we resolve to live as though right now is the first, last, and only year we will ever live? What baggage, dead weight, and negativity would we set down and walk away from? How would we love more fully and generously than we do now? How free would we feel?

Journey well and pray always.
Peace, Deacon Steve Meyer

The season of Advent has a social justice focus. In what ways are we helping our world prepare for Christ’s coming? Celebrate the season of Advent by focusing on others in need by collecting food items for a local pantry or family in need.

How to Discuss Politics in a Dignified Way
Social Justice Essay

“So, what do you think about impeachment?”

It’s Thanksgiving, and once again we can count on Uncle Charlie to bring up politics. As we approach another contentious election year, how can we maintain our Christian dignity when disagreeing with people we care about?

A common suggestion is to avoid politics altogether, and sometimes this may be the only solution. However, a better option might be to respectfully engage in polite discussion. When polarized Americans are retreating into two separate camps with their own cable news networks, websites, and radio shows, intergroup interactions could greatly benefit society.

When a friend or relative disagrees with you, ask whether that relationship is worth it, suggests author David Olarinoye. If so, consider giving up the goal of winning the argument. If you can, make the new goal coming to a truce. In this way, you know that there will be disagreement and that you’re not going to win but you’re not going to lose either.

Make yourself be heard, share the facts and statistics, and ask the other person to provide their sources of information. And let the other person do the same thing. Be a good listener. And remember that you will not convince someone that they are wrong and you are right.

Most people want to solve the same problems; they just have slightly different solutions. Seek out ideas that you both agree with. And keep it about the ideas – don’t make it personal. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

So when Uncle Charlie wants to talk politics on Thanksgiving, pass the gravy, and don’t necessarily pass on the opportunity to understand each other’s point of view just a little bit more.

Authored by Andrew Crane, parishioner of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish, Dignity of Life Committee

Dear Fellow Pilgrims,

Following the shootings in El Paso and Dayton last weekend, public discourse took its predictable trajectory. There was an outpouring of heartfelt empathy for the victims, their families, and their communities. There was gratuitous outrage by politicians. There were impassioned calls for reform in gun laws, matched by impassioned calls to arm more people with more guns. Each time we go through this, we argue about the best ways to address the symptom (gun violence) while we go on spreading the disease (hatred).

Let’s stop pretending that all the ugliness going on in the world is the fault of democrats or republicans or guns or immigrants or Trump or Islam or Wall Street or Amazon. Just stop. All of us, every single one of us, is capable of feeling hatred and directing it toward another person, especially toward someone who is not like us. And the problem is that we’re all doing it all the time. Just spend five minutes on social media – or any media for that matter – and you’ll see it. The deadly virus called hate has reached epidemic proportions (thank you, Internet), so why do we continue to feign shock when it claims more victims? Hate is merely doing what hate does – it kills. And every time any of us spews more hatred into the world, we are spreading the disease.

This virus cannot be stopped with gun laws, or political rhetoric, or border walls. There is only one thing that defeats hatred: love. And it works every time. Every time. Jesus was not ambiguous on this point. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your enemy. Love one another as I have loved you. He said it again and again. He lived it day after day. When confronted with hatred, he went to the cross in the name of love rather than respond with more hatred.

We can do the same. We can choose love over hate. We can choose love over division. We can choose love over politics. We can choose love over fear. What’s holding us back?

Journey well and pray always.

Peace,
Deacon Steve Meyer